This - Jennifer Miller

I am a season of "this"... 

There is this one thing... this one struggle that has my mind's attention almost all day every day.  I have to battle against letting this thing ruin moods, moments, days... and even weeks.  Right now, because of this I am most certainly a fun suck at any gathering.  I feel captive... to all the behaviors and the effects of this thing.

I cling to scripture and its promises ... but there seems to be no relief to my constant pleading with the Lord to resolve this situation.  I have had anger... followed by a renewal to see it as an opportunity for refinement and growth... only to slide into a pit of sadness.  I am usually one breath away from tears when this topic comes up. 

Recently, in Pastor Jeff's sermon, he used a scripture that had a word that jumped right out at me...
 

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. 
With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.         Ephesians 6:18

With this in mind -- when the situation which happens to almost certainly be on my mind, is on my mind... I should be alert and keep on praying.  Alert my mind that the battle I am waging is not against flesh and blood... it is about surrendering my thoughts and control to the Lord and His timing. Then I must keep on praying.

In a recent quiet time, I was reading John 9... where the disciples were asking why a man had been blind since birth... 

 ² His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, 
that he was born blind?”  
³ “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus,  

“but this happened so the power of God could be seen"

John 9:2-3

I couldn't read farther... "this happened"...  there was that word... this. I personalized it immediately and saw the story as if it were addressing my this. I take a small measure of comfort that like me, the disciples were questioning Jesus - they wanted to know why this was happening.  And there was the answer to my why ....

 "this happened so the power of God could be seen". 

In this particular story, Jesus showed his power immediately and tangibly by healing the blind man ... but I realize that may not be the outcome for my "this" here on Earth (enter a big gulp and rolling waves of panic).  But my prayer is that I will allow the Lord to use this situation to make much of Him.  That in my weakness He will be my strength.  Will it take away the hurt - the sting and sadness? Nope.  Am I called to a life without these things - not yet.  So I must trust Him that during this season of life He will be my strength.  Through relying on that strength I will be able to make much of Him.  

I am praying towards being able to say "it is more about Your glory than my comfort".  My confession is that I am not there yet.

Maybe you are in a season of struggle... whatever your "this" is... He wants to show His power through it.